So we found out today that Michael’s company has denied his request to not deploy. Had this been a deployment when I wasn’t pregnant-I would be upset, but I would deal. But the gravity of the situation is a little different this time.
I have some serious health problems when it comes to pregnancy.
My first pregnancy was unplanned when I was 19. Everything was fine that I knew of until my 20 wk ultrasound. They discovered that my daughter was not growing as she should be (IUGR), single umbilical artery (SUA) and also echogenic bowel.
6 weeks later I ended up in the hospital with high blood pressure and was diagnosed with preeclampsia. I stayed in the hospital on bed-rest until 28 weeks where I delivered Lexi by emergency c-section. She weighed 1lb, 1oz and was 11 inches long. She lived for 5 days in the NICU before she passed away in my arms.
My second pregnancy was with my husband, Michael. It took us almost a year and a half of trying before we became pregnant. I ended up being diagnosed with Graves Disease at the beginning of the pregnancy. Other than lots of extra monitoring of my thyroid function & blood pressure this pregnancy was fairly “uneventful”. Kincaid was born by scheduled c-section at 37 weeks, weighing 5lbs, 12oz and 18 inches long.
He has been a fairly healthy child. Our only complications were RSV at approx. 3 months of age–and issues with his weight. He is only in the 3-5% for his age and a very picky eater.
A little over a year ago I miscarried my third pregnancy at 5.5 wks.
I currently am 11 wks pregnant and due on September 17th. I was already nervous with my history. Last week the baby was found to have a Cystic Hygroma. We have been given a 65-75% chance that there is a Chromosomal abnormality and that if there is one, an 80% chance that it will be Turner Syndrome. Basically they have told us that we have a very small chance of this baby surviving.
We are scheduled for a CVS procedure on March 8th…and are just waiting to see if we can get any answers.
My DR had written a note to his command explaining the situation-and they still have denied his request. If I read one more time how the Army puts “Family First” I am going to scream…
I barely made it through losing my daughter 5 years ago. I don’t know if I can do this again…
First, you know that the army does not put family first. You\’re so ignorant for thinking that. And what makes you think that you are sooooo special that the Army might consider letting your husband stay back while everyone else\’s husbands still go. even though they are having children and sick family members.
Secondly, if you have such a hard time getting pregnant, staying pregnant, and producing healthy children. Then maybe you should consider using birth control to prevent pregnancy. because at least then there would be a few less disabled children in the world suffering because their mother was selfish. Be thankful for the child that you have.
are you serious “tea cup” how f’ing rude can you be sorry but that was a total bitch thing to say. i can’t even type the anger i feel to you for even writing that to jenn.
and the army does say family first and they nothing like that they can give a fly f about us. we go thru so much but we can still hope and express our feelings for it.
have you lost a child before? you just ruffled a lot of feathers…
Jenni am sorry that you are going this and i am more sorry that people don’t have heart and can be so insensitive. my prayers are with you and your family.
opps sorry jess i was talking on the phone with my friend jenn and typed jenn not jess opps
again i am sorry
Obviously, teacup, you’ve never dealt with the stress and emotional hardship involved with a miscarriage, or having children with disabilities. Given the history of Jessica’s pregnancies and the complications involved, the Army should give them more consideration in their request to not deploy, if they really put families first. Jessica is pouring her heart and soul out here, the least you could do is NOT be a bitch. She’s going through a rough time, and the only people that should be commenting are people who have encouraging thoughts and words for her and Michael. Put yourself in her shoes. Would you really want your husband gone while you go through all this? I’m lucky enough to have a healthy little angel of my own, and I have nothing but admiration and respect for Jessica and Michael for what they have been through and the strength that they have shown. Obviously, you know nothing about science, teacup, because birth defects and disabilities happen for all sorts of reasons. Yes, there are genetic predispositions for disabilities, but not every child that has a disability is genetically destined for that. There are all sorts of factors involved. Genetics are one, but also environment and diet are huge contributors. I don’t see how Jessica and Michael would be selfish by bringing a child with a disability into the world and giving that child a chance to live and be loved.
So stop being a hateful bitch. Mmkay?
Honestly this is uncalled for ~ get some class ~ grow up ~ move on ~ seelk some help from a Dr. you have some serious issues
Wow Teacup, you have got to be the most heartless bitch I’ve ever encountered. Apparently when God gave out compassion you were too busy getting a second helping of ignorance and selfishness.
I’ll tell you right now, if my husband was set to be Rear Detachment when his unit deployed I’d have no issues with him volunteering to switch places if it meant a new life could be born into the world healthy and whole.
Jessica, I wish I could be there for you, but know that you have all the support from your sisters. I’ll keep you and your family in my prayers and remember that you have to think of the baby first and be strong. You have us to lean on and while it’s not the same as your husband, it’s strength given when needed.
Straight, no chaser just how I like my daily dose of reality!
In regards to the comment above (teacup)- TERRIBLE! Didn’t your mother ever teach you that if you can’t say anything nice dont say anythiing at all? You really think your words are going to help her situation at all? Do you think she is going to read what you said and think oh ok, nevermind, i shouldnt be upset?
Terrible, just terrible!
Who the HELL do you think you are?
Did you ever think that maybe I WAS on birth control? You have no f***ing clue!
I am not selfish. I am doing everything I can to give my child and my future child the best I can. I DO NOT think I am better than anyone else or that my husband is either. I feel for every single soldier that is overseas.
Have you ever held your dying child in your arms? Until you have..then SHUT THE HELL UP!!!
Hey “TEACUP” who are you to talk to anyone like that? HUH? You obivously do not know what your talking about! You know that if Jessica’s husband was Luetinant or higher the paperwork to get him out of this deployment he is facing, would MAGICALLY disappear! Also, what do you think he is going to do his best job when he is worried about his wife and unborn child at home! If he isn’t in the right state of mind it can cause other soldiers to possibly lose thier lives, not only Jessica’s hub putting himself in danger. You really need to think about the whole situation before you open your mouth and talk to anyone like that! You are one bitter person! I wouldn’t be suprised if you the wife who cheatson her husband the minute he depoys, giving all the other wives a bad name!
Teacup:
Since you have all the answers to Jessica’s problems, maybe you can start working on poverty, climate change and an answer to where all the lost socks go.
I can tell from your rational approach to emotional issues that your life must be happy, full of joy and promise for a healthy future.
Next time, you have a major health concern for you or your child/potential child, I’m sure your spouse will volunteer to go down range and fulfill his duty to the utmost leaving you to fend for yourself, as you can apparently handle everything with a calm attitude and lack of disregard for everyone but yourself.
Maybe you should turn that keen eye of yours to yourself. Oh, whoops, I forgot, since you are so focused on everyone else’s actual life altering problems, you must have it all figured out.
Well, I’m sure your services are needed elsewhere, so you better move on to fix another person’s life with your simple absolutely useless answers to life’s pesky annoyances like trying to create a family.
Thanks!
First, Jessica, I am so sorry about the trouble you have been having with the Army lately. It’s not fair what they are doing. I know of SO many people who have had delayed deployments, extended R&Rs, and early returns for issues nowhere near the extent of yours. I will be praying for you to have a healthy pregnancy, a safe delivery, and of course, a healthy baby.
Secondly, “Teacup”, where the hell do you get off posting comments like this? Does it make you feel good totally destroying someone on the internet while hiding behind some stupid alias?? You are a very mean-spirited person and there is something seriously wrong with you if you think that posting something like this is ‘okay’. GROW UP. Have a little compassion for people, or shut the fuck up.
I completely disagree with everything you just said. She’s not ignorant, she’s just stating a fact that thats a huge topic the Army says they strive for. Secondly she’s not saying she is better than anyone else and that her husband shouldn’t deploy. He has already been deployed more than once and has served longer than than the typical soldier. And to say that she shouldn’t have anymore kids because they might not be healthy? I just pray that your not a mother!
Wow. Teacup is something else. First, Jessica actually believing the Army puts “family first” might be a little naive, but ignorant? Really? It’s actually pretty ignorant to post petty annoymous comments judging people without taking the time to consider what they’re actually going through.
And your second comment… For that, you can go to hell. If Jessica didn’t take care of the child she had now, or I didn’t have total confidence she would take care of any child she has in the future, I might agree with you. However, unlike you, I actually know her, and know she is now and will continue to be a great mom.
Teacup- I dont know where you get off talking to someone like that!!! I think your a big pussy for not stating your name and hiding behind a username!! What a bitch! She doesnt think she’s better then anyone else she just wanted to have her husband with her during a difficult time and there is nothing wrong with that! But there is something wrong with people like you! Your a spineless bitch! Go play in traffic!
Honestly, Teacup does not deserve the time of day. Teacup is probably so depressed and miserable that posting anonymously with something so hateful is all Teacup has to live for. What a dumb, rude, hateful, coward. Let’s all put 2 very special fingers up for TEACUP!
Jessica,
I am very sorry with all you are going through. It must be terribly difficult. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. It sucks hubby can’t stay home to be with you during this hard time and deploy late. You are not at all stupid for requesting that extra time, it never hurts to ask especially with this very specific set of circumstances!
Jessica, I wouldn’t worry about Teacup’s comments. She is obviously a very lonely and depressed soul who feels the need to take her anger out on those who are already having a hard time. My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family through this time. I wish you and your family nothing but happiness! If there is anything that I can do to help please let me know.
Teacup…
I will certainly be praying for you as you apparently have underlying issues that we do not know of. I am saddened by the fact that you would say such cruel things and then not have the nerve to write your name. Of course, if I were to write such ugly and cruel things, I would be afraid of the repercussions. I am disappointed that a military wife would be and could be so rude!!
Jessica,
I am so sorry someone was so rude to you. I am praying and will continue to pray for your pregnancy. Remember, not all are like she must be!!
wow Jessica im soooooo sorry this person has so much hate that she had to take it out on someone she doesnt even know… you are a beautiful woman and an awesome mother! i know it deeply hurts when someone bashes you like that *trust me i know.. my own sister said some pretty horrible things to me a few years ago* but just know you are the more mature person and just ignore her.. people like that just want a rise out of others because they have no life and want to inflict the pain on others that they have in themselves… just repeat to yourself ” I AM BEAUTIFUL, I AM A WONDERFUL WIFE AND MOTHER” i thinking and praying for you and your sweet little family!
Well I feel like Teacup was wrong on sooooo many levels for the comment that she made but, I kind of understand where she is coming from. I don’t think its fair for someone to be able to “not deploy” because their wife is having a hard pregnancy. My heart goes out to Jessica and her family but everyday these men and women leave their families with all kinds of problems because they have to and I dont think its right for her husband to get a free pass. I think that maybe they should give him a lil more time at home to get the situation under control once she has went to the doctor but blow the whole deployment of period????? No, its not right to everyone else.
I agree. And I’m not asking for him to not deploy at all. If he could be here for the rest of the pregnancy or until we can make sure mine and the babies health is stable-I would be happy. To be here through the delivery would only mean him possibly missing the first 3 months at most.
As well as it is not just the pregnancy that is the issue. Two of the 4 main causes of what is wrong with our baby mean a life expectancy of less than a year. I would like to think anyone can understand the difficult situation this is if you put yourself or your own child(ren) in the situation….
WOW ~ not even going to get into her childish mean comments to ya mama ~ stay focused you your health & your family ~ what the Army is doing to you does NOT suprise me ~ I am sad to say I have heard & even been a part of the same sadness & fears of death with no compasion anywhere in sight … you are stronger then you think just keep that in mind
Can i beat the living shit out of her for you jess?
I\’m glad to see that everyone is so fond of me. I\’m just giving my opinion, no hype and no gloss. Right Jessi?
Come hunt me down Jessica, you might just find out that I\’m one of your closest friends.
YOU? You are no friend.
One..NOBODY and I mean NOBODY since my grandpa died when I was 18 calls me “Jessi.”
Two..Obviously, and stupidly you are a “friend” on Facebook or MWC because that is the only way you would’ve know what was said.
Nobody who truly knows me and what I’ve been through would’ve have EVER said the things you said! Seriously, Hold your dying child in your arms and THEN tell me that I have no reason to feel the way I do.
Stop being a bitch-and don’t hide behind some fake email, fake IP address. Delete me from your list and be done with it!
If you were really any kind of friend of hers you would not of said what you did.
I\’m not your friend. I meant what i said in the context that your closest friend may feel the same way I do, they are just not willing to voice their concerns. But I am sure that a few of them are sick of hearing your bullshit.
Exactly fess the fuck up so she knows who are you and so we all do so we can delete you.then again if your one of the stupid fucks from hawaii i probably already deleted you anyways
Jessica –
I am sorry that you are having to deal with the selffishness of the Army. I guess it really does depend on what unit your spouse is in for the family connection. I will have my family and myself keep you in our prayers.
As for this “teacup” just ignore her/his ignorant comments – This person just sounds very bitter and needs to find something other to do then bash on other peoples lives. You do not need the stress of her on your sholders right now. You just keep your family on your mind right now!
As for the Army – I would go above the head of his command. I have seen men and women get out of deployments for little things – much less a spouse that is pregnant and is having health issues.
Something else you could do is if he does get deployed… call Red Cross right away and have him sent home. Explain the situation to them… and see if that helps any.
Nichole
The death of your children is bullshit?
Jessica,
Please stay strong despite teacups comments. Us military wives are the strongest people in this world and he are forced to hold our heads up high in situations that are heart breaking. Please know that there are people on your side that support you becoming a parent as many times as you wish to be. It takes strong people to raise children especially if they do have a special need. I just want to know, does teacup believe in killing all of those less fortunate or all the special needs people in this world? Dont you think that they deserve to have parents too? We need to remember that not all of us have been so blessed to have negative attitudes on life!!!!
Wow! Where to begin? First off I think you are amazing to deal with all of this. Military life is NEVER easy. I think it’s total crap that your hubby is getting deployed. My husband is deployed right now and I wouldn’t think it was unfair if your hubby got to stay for this reason. I think it’s the right thing to do. Like someone else already said, how effective can he be in fighting a war if his head is at home with you and the kids? It makes more sense for him to just stay. It’s not like his presence there would make or break the war.
As far as this heartless slore that is writing such hateful things to you is concerned, my advice is to just rise above it. She obviously is not a mother or she would be more sympathetic. She obviously is not a friend, to you or ANYONE, because no one would want to be a friend with someone like that. And she is probably in a loveless marriage and cannot fathom the kind of love you have for your family. So, just smile because you can rest easy knowing that even through all your hardships you are way more blessed then this bitch ever will be.
Jessica,
I know we haven’t talked much since high school, but I am so proud of what you’ve done and accomplished. Forget that hateful skank teacup…she’s obviously just bitter because she knows that most people could give two shits about her, and you have an entire social network offering you words of encouragement..we will definitely be praying for all of you guys.
Wow Teacup! How dare you even say that children with disabilities should never be born and can not live a happy life just because it is not perfect! And how dare you say that just because it is hard to get pregnant or stay pregnant that someone should not try to have a child to love. Do you really think that a less than perfect child could not teach us something valuable about our own lives? What if you had been born with a disability, should you not exist? I guarantee that a child with a disability could contribute way more to this earth than someone with your mentality ever could! Why don’t we leave the decision up to God who joins us on earth instead of ignorant non-caring people like you.
Jessica,I am so sorry you are having to deal with all of this right now.You and your baby are in my thoughts and prayers.
Like someone else said,military wives(myself included) are the strongest people.
Hang in there.
And as for Teacup,he or she wants to get a rise out of you and everyone else.Ignore the comments that person posts.Once they see that peopleare ignoring them they will move on to make trouble somewhere else.
Jessica, I’ve known you for 8 years now, and I know that you are stronger than most. You were my first friend when I moved to MCE, and you have been nothing but a positive person in my life ever since. We have more in common now that I have ever realized being married to the Military, dealing with losses of our children, being parents to toddlers, and now pregnant together again… I mean… there is just so much I can empathize with you on…. including this matter at hand.
I can say this, while the Army is not exactly “speedy” when it comes to making family a priority, when they do get on the ball, you won’t be let down.
Getting a Compassionate-Care Reassignment was the best thing I could have done for my family, and not having my husband deployable is a blessing in disguise. I hope you get yours soon and I’ll pray that the Army takes good care of you.
There are diff things you can do, like writing a letter to the Congressmen, Going directly to JAG-not IG (they work in the soldiers, units best interest before the family)… and definitely go to the Chaplain. They are all there to help YOU. Have all of those ppl write letters for you, and bring up medical records/history. It will work in your favor. You’ll see.
I am sorry you have a little pest writing nasty things on your blog, but you are in NO way a selfish person for wanting to have your husband with you through something so scary. I know you are just trying to take every preventable measure you can, and are trying to do what is best in your opinion for your un-born baby.
@ “TEACUP”…I hope you have to eat your words one day!
OMG, Jessica- I’m so sorry, whoever “teacup”is; he/she obviously is a cold hearted person who doesnt have the nerve to step up and tell who they really are. Just keep in mind that God knows what you have gone through and are going through and he is there to help you. Hang in there. Also, keep in mind that God knows the person who said this to you.
You can write me or text me anytime.
Face it Jessi, you are freaking out. You don\’t know who I am and it\’s killing you. But the truth is, I\’m not the only person who feels this way about you. Yahn tells you all the time to get over yourself. You and your sister are not on good terms, so she probably feels the same. And you may have hundreds of friends that are willing to come to your aid and face off against me, but look at how many didn\’t come. What a shame. Life sucks when it\’s not all hugs and cupcakes.
“Teacup”… you are an evil-spirited person. Your opinion should have been kept to yourself instead of posting it for Jess to see. I’m sorry that your life is so miserable that you had to hurt someone else to make you feel better. Get over YOURSELF and leave Jess alone. You obviously are not a friend, so who the fuck cares what your opinion is?
Jessica, I am sorry you are having to go through such a difficult time. I am a special education teacher, and I would NEVER choose a different job! Every child we are given for any length of time is a gift from God. Be it 5 days or 50 years, they are OURS. I pray Michael gets to stay home as long as possible to support you and Kincaid. Try to ignore the negative comments thrown at you.The devil tries to drain energy in many ways. It is obvious you have alot of love and support out there! I live so very close to you, so don’t every hesitate to hollar at me!
Is it necessary to personally attack someone? We all get that you have an opinion teacup. And stating that opinion is your prerogative. However, when you cross that line into personal attacks its inappropriate… and immature. I think the world would be a lot happier place if you just learned to put yourself in others’ shoes. Seriously, take a minute and put yourself in a hormonal pregnant woman’s body who is scared to death and about to see her husband ship off for a year…. Like I said, have your opinion… but think before you speak (or type.)
Dear “teacup,”
Life sucks when you’re a raging bitch who obviously isn’t happy with her own life so she resorts to posting horrible comments on someone else’s page to make her feel better. Nobody’s dying to know who you are, nobody cares. You don’t matter. To anyone. Do yourself a favor and stop acting like a fool.
Jessica,
So sorry dearie. Sending you hugs!
This is the first time I’ve read a complete blog entry. I don’t have the time at this moment to read all of these comments because I have seven children but I have read enough. There are just some people in this world who are inconsiderate and rude.
Jessica, I have never met you but I do want you to know that I am praying for you and your new little blessing. I read a little bit of something the other day and you said there are things you have learned you can do that you didn’t think possible. I’m sorry your husband won’t be with you during this time and I hope the decision is different. In the meantime, surround yourself with positive and peaceful people and please don’t allow hateful people like “teacup” to get to you. The best thing you can do for you and your baby right now is to try and stay calm and not be stressed out.
“Teacup”, I doubt that you are a woman because you certainly don’t sound like a lady. I have a daughter with Turner Syndrome and she is a wonderful little girl and has been a blessing to so many people in her short life. She is currently almost 8 months old and had open heart surgery when she was 1 day old. My guess is from the way you spoke about less disabled children in the world that you don’t care much for them. What do you think should happen to these “disabled” children?
We dont know each other but as another military wife i wanted to say good luck and best wishes for you and your unborn child. Dont give up and keep trying to get your husband home. I know when my sister was pregnant and have problems they gave her husband the choice to stay home and be with her until her son was born. You just have to ask the right person. Good luck and we will keep you in our prayers
TEACUP is getting what she wants when we all choose to address her. I say we all leave her OUT of all of our comments and focus on our friend JESSICA and her family and not little miss do no wrong.
I agree with Amy M.
I mke no apologies 4 the fact I agree with Teacup. My husband is gone right now in Iraq his 3rd time. I didn’t ask special treatment or 4 any1 2 dry my tears, evry day I put my big girl draws on and take care of house & home. Before any1 asks, I hve 3 kids and have had 1 die in my hands……does tht mke me qualified 2 post a comment? When you put ur life and it’s details on a blog you invite wht teacup wrote. Stop whining & take care of them sickly ass kids you got/having. By the way I live on Stewart & if you ?ad any of ur croonies want 2 meet up let a chick knw.
FYI: Jessica doesn’t have “sickly-ass kids”. She isn’t asking for special treatment, just understanding and for her husband to be able to be with her through something that is devastatingly hard for her to manage alone.
Apparently you’re overly opinionated and like to take a stab at somebody when they are down, and comparing yourself to her by saying “I have 3 kids, and have had 1 die in my hands…” comment doesn’t make you anything but a hypocrite!
You are entitled to your own opinion, but dear God, I hope you realize your own convictions and one day never have to go through what Jessica is.
And one more thing, what kind of lady does makes threats?
My point exactly Andrea, and trust it wasnt a “threat”. It’s in response to all these comments by the so called “ladies” U speak of. Threating bodily harm for expressing ur opinion? Well Im just the WOMAN to call all of them on their BS! Asking for “adjustments”, “understanding”, and any other changes is special treatment. (take the blinders off!) People go through this and more every day, family die, people get laid off, people are starving as your reading this, it’s called life! and can you explain how my comment makes me a hypocrite? you must not be able to grasp the meaning of the word. Yep lost my kid in 08, born early (6 mos) we watched her struggle 2 breath and thn fade away. Then u knw wht happened?….the world keep turning I picked up and continued to take care of the three I had at home. Wht I did not do is try and get knocked up again to see if the next one would “take”. Now I knw tht a lot of women hurt and feel great loss and need to grieve in different ways, but asking the world to change because you cant keep up is not a option ESPECIALLY FOR A MILITARY WIFE!!! He signed on the line, send him over with a since of pride knowing his family and home is ok while hes gone, he has enough to worry about when he gets there! Man up, stop the whining.
I’ve never read such bitter, heartless, rude bullshit in my life! It sounds to me like you are jealous of the love and friendship that Jessica obviously has. There is no whining involved here. She is posting her thoughts and feelings on a blog full of women who she thought she could relate to. She is going through something that even though you may be able to relate to, you have no idea what is going on in her world. It’s my impression that this blog is for military wives to communicate and support each other through everything, and if you don’t have anything supportive to say, then shut the fuck up. She has enough going on without all your negative comments. She’s not “asking the world to change”, she’s just seeing if there is any possible way for her to have her husband with her so they can support each other through a rough time. There is nothing wrong with that. And your comment about “getting knocked up again to see if the next one would take”… that’s just vicious. Not something I would expect to hear from a mother. Wow.
You have gotta be the dizziest broad ever! You go off on your lil rant and then follow up with if you dont like some1′s blog dont read it?..Really? I refer to my earlier post: WHEN YOU POST TO A OPEN FORUM, YOU ALSO LEAVE YOURSELF OPEN TO REPLIES/OPINIONS. Im glad Jessica has so many friends, so she will be well cared for during her husbands departure. Every1 is harping on me because i gave the not so nice, fairy princess, bring your ass back to earth reality of the situation. Why do you keep turning up pregnant if you have such a hard go at it? and why do expect the military to accomadate your choices? Im sorry (not really) but when do you get to take responsibility for you getting yourself stuck? Millions of women deal with these issues everyday. Every1 wants me to be positive well you all licking her ass is not positive, you all are enabling her to live in this fairy world shes just getting a hard dose of reality, this is wht your husband signed up for, stop whining. Funny how every1 comments on me and threats, no 1 had a problem when the threats were focused at Teacup right. Im just a bad enough bitch to say bring it!
and teacup? if you don’t want to hear her “bullshit” then don’t read her posts. go do something useful.
Just because a husband joins the military or is already apart of it when you get married, doesn’t mean that a wife is EXPECTED to keep up. I’ve been an Army Wife for 4 years can hardly keep up, but just like the rest of the women or men who have a military spouse… you do the best as you can…accept whats coming, get the help you need to survive deployments or work around things with what resources you have available. LOTS of ppl are guilty of this.
My husband is in the Army, and he is NON-Deployable because we have a special needs child. We got a Compassionate Care Re-Assignment in April of 08 from Ft. Bliss, TX to Ft. Lewis, WA… and it was one of the best things the Army did for me. And yes…it was for me. Why? Because I was pregnant with my 2nd child, and having a hard time taking care of a disabled child with a prognosis… and about to have another child with a 50% chance of the same disabilities… much like Jessica is right now… and I got the Army to re-locate my family to a base that was better for my child, better for me… and it was more important for my husband to be home with us, rather than deployed and have to come home during his deployment (therefore leaving his unit short-manned) in the event my daughter passed away. We lost a child last year, and that was incredibly difficult. To any of you who have lost a child, you should be able to empathize here… The Army does support family, and sometimes it just takes longer and more action from the right ppl to get things and families taken care of. Why is it wrong to ask for help?? That is why we are in the EFMP. We get special housing, and everything because we for one, need it… and for two… asked for it. Sometimes the Army doesn’t know what you need until you ask. I think everyone should use that to their advantage.
Enough about me.. My point was that you don’t have to insult Jessica or anybody else because she’s asking for help, or make comments about the well-being of her child/ren. She’s a fantastic person, and was not trying to come across as better than anybody or more deserving of “special attention” just because of her circumstance.
And imo, “By the way I live on Stewart & if you ?ad any of ur croonies want 2 meet up let a chick knw.” sounded like a threat to me… was it not intended that way?
WHAT THE HELL?!? Sweetheart wht world are u living in tht the military spouse is not supposed to keep up? It either keep up or get dragged! Why is it tht we want discipline in our lives, we want law and order, but as soon as the rules go against our agendas its a problem? You want to be a real friend to Jessica? stop coddling her, help her out when she needs but dont lull her into a false since of distress. a real friend is not afraid to tell you a opposing view or tell you your full of crap.
Trina,
That may be true, that real friends should be honest with each other. But kind and true friends also do it in a way that is beneficial and that will help and not hurt and destroy, which is what you are doing by talking that way. I also don’t know from experience how the military works, I am not enlisted nor married to someone who is. I do, however, know that we can’t always choose the hand we are dealt, but we can try our hardest to do the best with what we have, and if that means finding ways around the system and utilizing resources to make it easier on us, then all the more power to the people who are smart enough to do so! I also read your earlier post, and I am also very sorry to hear what you have had to go through, but you can’t sit here and tell me that when all that was happening that you weren’t wishing that it was different…that you still had your wonderful baby and that you wished your husband didn’t have to deploy. So please stop attacking people. All my sister wants is to be able to vent, to be able to share with the people that care about the things that she is dealing with. And if you can’t be considerate of that, even if you don’t agree, then you obviously have no sense of respect. Surely as a fellow military wife you could give her that much!
We aren’t coddling her. We’re supporting her. Do all of us think that the military should change their policies and let Michael be home for the pregnancy? Yes. Do we all live in a perfect world? No. As military wives, we (more than most) know that things rarely work out the way we want them to. Telling Jessica that we are sorry by know means is giving her “false hopes” or whatever you’re talking about. We’re just telling her that we understand and we’re there for her.
Your opinions and opposing views aren’t my problem with this whole situation…. its that the format and forum you’re using to express those views is inappropriate and uncalled for.
PS- saying you’re “the baddest bitch” isn’t complimenting yourself.
PSS- its really hard to take you seriously when you continue to misspell and for some unknown reason leave out the “a” in almost every word…
Thank you, Danielle…my point exactly!
@ Trina… Haha. You are a funny lady. And, You are mistaken. Keep up or get dragged? I am certainly not being dragged… I can’t keep up with the military lifestyle, nor do I want to, or have to. I choose to live as little of it as possible because even though my husband is in the Army and they have been wonderful to me and my family, I do not support it. That is a matter of opinion, my own. I choose to live my life by not participating in anything that has to do with the military, with the exception of going to a hospital on post and taking full advantage of having Tri-care Prime. Other than that, I don’t keep up with FRG, or what my husband’s unit does…because I do not care. It doesn’t make me any less of a wife to my husband…because he too hates the military, and is only in it to provide for my family.
Say what you want, attack me if you want… but it does and won’t change things. Your point of view of what a “Military Spouse” is… is just that. While Jessica, supports her husband, and is very active and involved in everything, and even runs MWC… I am not apart of that. I am not even a member of her website. Does this make me a bad friend to her? I don’t think so.
Jessica is my friend, and that is why I was relating to her and what she is going through. I am not “coddling her” or “lulling her into a false sense of distress”. What she is going through has nothing to do with me. But the fact that I can relate, and offer some empathy & advice means that I am a true friend and don’t believe she’s full of crap. I may not live near Jessica to help her physically, but if we were stationed together, you can bet your ass I’d be there for her before you would. And part of being a good friend, is sticking up and offering support to/ for your friend… even from a distance esp. when they have NO control of the hand God has given them. Some friend you are.
Dear heart, its called compact typing. as for the misspells my brain oft works fster thn my hnds. (sorry if tht confuses u, but try and keep up.) The moniker was simply put as a joke because Im laughing at all the pea brains tht couldnt express themselves better so they resorted to profanity. (still with me cupcake?) Ok tell me wht is appropriate is it appropriate for her husbnd to be able to forgo his duties? Or is it ok for him to be deployed & distracted with home issues tht he cant watch the next soldiers bck? (hanging in there Dew Drop) No wait maybe its ok whn your husband or mine has to stay longer or pick up the slack in some other way because we as women are not holding it down on the home front. She said it herself “WE” sign up for this also we have to learn how to handle/ adapt. To the sister my issue was not the fact tht she utilized her resources, it was the “Whoa is me” tht ensued. You tried it it dint work get over it. Of course I wish my kid was still here with me, but I dont go around asking for allowances or pity because shes not. Wht happened to the kudos for the strong WOMEN? Respect is not FREELY given it’s EARNED!!!
If that is the case Trina, then you in no way have earned anyone else’s! And although you say your brain works faster than your hands, that’s no excuse, I can’t even comprehend what you are saying, and not because I am dumb by any means, but because you can’t even take the time to slow down and make sure that what you’re saying makes sense, probably because it doesn’t! And she’s not asking for allowances and pity, she’s asking for support in whatever decision the army makes…you even didn’t like the outcomes or choices that were made for you and you say you bucked up and went on with it…well she will too when the times comes. But that doesn’t mean she can’t vent now and ask for prayers and support from fellow friends and family. You’re in no way a strong woman, that is why you are here feasting on everyone else and dragging people down. If you truly are a strong woman who you yourself thinks is deserving of respect, then save some face and stop belitting people on this blog…leave everyone alone and let them do what they came here to do…support Jessica!
See Sis, thts the diffrence btwn me & every 1 else on this site. I’m not looking for or in need of your respect. 2morrow my life will go on as usual, my sky will be blue & my grass will be green your opinon of me matters not,thts why I can post freely conscience clear. Im secure in my life & it’s path. I didn’t come 2 this site 2 support Jessica I followed a link tht had the title family first, imagine my surprise. Like ur sis my first response was 2 attack wht was attacking my “family” of the last 11yrs. Oh and Andrea how proud you and your husband must be whn he puts on tht uniform evry day, he hates the military but stays 4 a check, WOW!
I would like to start by saying that I am sorry, Jessica and Michael, for what you two are going through right now. I am thinking of and can’t wait to see you guys…I miss all of you, especially that little monkey of a nephew of mine!
Next, I would like to say a few words to Teacup, whoever she may be. This is a huge leap, but from your first bitter remark I’m guessing that you have either had, do, or are going to lose your husband for a while because of deployment, and for that I am sorry. However, whether that is the case or not there is not need for the statements like the ones you have made. You’re seriously making yourself look like a heartless and stupid woman. I’m going to thrown in some of those remarks for you and kindly point them out. First, “at least then there would be a few less disabled children in the world suffering because their mother was selfish.” It is not a mother’s choice to create and have children that are disabled in this world and by even saying that in the first place it looks as though you are insulting and implying that those poor children are unlovable and unworthy to be alive…and I work with children who have disabilities like this and they are people too; they have feelings, they have personality, and they are wonderful kids! Also, accidents do happen, using birth control or not. Is she supposed to abort a child just because she has high risk pregnancies or that there is a chance that the baby could be disabled. I would think that a person who faces that challenge, because that is what it is, a challenge, would be considered a strong and motivated person…unlike someone who is unwilling to even post their own name because they are scared. Furthermore, “your closest friends may feel the same way I do”, well if that’s the case then I think it is safe to say that those people wouldn’t be a true friend, because true friends stick by each other and are supportive in any situation. Now, as for bringing me into this situation and putting words into my mouth when you have absolutely no right to do so…Obviously you no nothing about my sister and I’s situation, because if you did you would know that we are on good terms. We may have had our differences in the past and fought like sisters, but I love my sister very much and would do anything I could to help her. You also say to look at how many didn’t come to her aid…well numbers don’t matter, and if they did, then take a closer look…how many came to yours? Finally, I’ll leave you with this, if you are so sick of reading her “bullshit” then there is no sense in you reading it at all. Surely you can find something better to do with your time then sit around and make people miserable just because you’re unhappy with your own life.
I’m so sorry to hear that. You’ll be in my prayers.
First of all-Thank You to everyone who cares so much about us to want to defend me. The support I feel through my family, friends, and our Military community is truly astounding.
The truth is I know that I am a good person, a good wife, and a good mother. I wouldn’t have the many amazing friends that I have if I weren’t. To hear somebody say otherwise was briefly unsettling-and now I really could care less because I realize that this person(s) does not truly know me.
While I think the comments you made “Teacup” were highly uncalled for-I apologize for the “hunt you down” comment, but it is a person’s automatic instinct to protect their family, which you chose to attack.
While we had difficult conceiving Kincaid, my other pregnancies were a little too easily done so, whether planned or not. This situation was not planned. We did not know that my husband’s unit would be switching from non-deployable at the time I discovered I was pregnant either. I love being a mother and I am very excited about having this child-so understandably would be upset about the difficult prognosis we’ve been given. After spending the last 5 years grieving the loss of my daughter I dread the possibility of holding another angel in my arms. But if that is what is going to happen My husband deserves to meet this child that may not survive outside my womb…
As for the first part of the “argument” –This just isn’t what my husband signed up for, this is what WE signed up for. I LOVE being a Military wife, and I think that is more than obvious at all the support and resources that I have helped provide to other women. I am very proud of my husband and every single soldier that serves our country. I have supported my husband in his deployments & other duties since he enlisted in the military 8 years ago. I am not asking for my husband to not follow through with his obligation, instead only a small delay and chance to be home with his family for a very difficult time.
Dear Trina, Please keep all your pet names to yourself & know I am not interested in arguing with you for the sake of arguing. I was defending my friend, that is all.
I believe everyone deserves respect and should get it until the prove they don’t deserve it.
Nobody said women shouldn’t be strong. Part of being strong, is asking for help when you need it. Jessica is very strong imo. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, and doesn’t mean as women we can’t hold down the “homefront”… there are men who struggle just the same when their wives are deployed. What is the point in help being available if those who need it are going to be ridiculed for trying to get it??
If the Army refuses to help Jessica and her family, then I believe she has the right as a human-being to be disappointed. Her entire blog was stating just that.
And Jessica, sorry I’ve taken up so much of your blog space. I care about you a lot as a friend and a person, and I know if you were doing something wrong, I would give you my honest opinion on it. But stay strong. You’re amazing, and I hope things work out in your favor!! Let me know if I can help with anything!!