The last few months have been a roller-coaster for me. Okay, who am I kidding; the last 6 years have felt like I’m being launched on a floor-less coaster into the unknown.

I have had so many ups and downs with this pregnancy already. I feel like each day I go through every emotion there is possible. I have to be honest that after losing Alexia I still feel the anger, fear, and desperation of being pregnant again. In the end though the emotion that seems to be running rampant is the excitement for this precious miracle growing inside of me.

After our last appointment I had pretty much decided to lock anxiety-ridden Jessica in the closet and quit letting the doctors ruin this pregnancy for me. This has been difficult, since my past has tended to show each appointment revealing new problems. Surprisingly though, This beautiful little girl has decided to defy the odds and continues to leave me in wonder me every day.

Monday was (what felt like) ultrasound # 57,757,632,951,038,573! I walked into this appointment expecting to hear the grim details of what the future holds, even though the fluid has resolved. I expected to hear them tell me that her Kidneys, Heart, etc. weren’t developing properly, yet this was exactly what I didn’t hear.

My technician was absolutely wonderful with me and took her time going over everything. They remarked on her nasal bone, heart, kidney’s, spine, brain…all looked “perfect“. There was not even one hard marker for Down syndrome or another chromosomal problem. There was a SINGLE soft marker in the baby’s pinkies, which could be gone when we come back in 4 weeks.

While we won’t know for sure if this little one will be born with the “correct” chromosomes until she arrives, I am truly amazed at how things have progressed in a good direction and can’t wait to see them continue to do so.

I’m finally starting to feel like I can enjoy, and not just Survive, this pregnancy!

Emree Alexandra