“I get by with a little help from my friends.”
- John Lennon
In the military community you tend to hear a lot about the difficulty to make lasting and strong friendships. I myself have even been guilty in the beginning of having my own doubts. I have experienced some of the drama, as well as heard plenty of stories via other military spouses.
Fast forward to the present, 9 months into our first post with the Army, and I can honestly say that I have been exposed to the the total opposite of what is considered the “norm”. I have met some of the most amazing women, who are the epitome of The Invitation, a poem I shared recently. The majority of the friendships I have formed in this short amount of time are so much stronger than friends I have had for years. I would do anything for them and I have no doubt that they would do the same for me.
While making so many friendships, there are two ladies that have become not only friends, but to me-they are my family. Erin & Lindsey have given me the strength to get through the days when I just didn’t think I could make it. I consider myself so fortunate to have met them, and I dread the day when the Army decides to separate us but I know that the distance won’t matter in the end.
I really hope that those spouses who have not had the welcoming experience I have, keep your patience in the fact that it is possible. Don’t hesitate to search out play groups, book & craft groups, anyone that shares an interest with you, even just introducing yourself to a stranger at the park. If you cannot find a group that works for you, start your own! I met Erin on a random playground trip, and Lindsey through Erin. If I hadn’t had the nerve to talk to Erin I would be missing out on being friends with two incredible women. You don’t have to expect everyone to turn into a friend, but you never know how you will meet that one friend who will be there for life.
There is no group like the military wife group. After 10 years of being an army wife, my husband decided that I wasn’t his cup of tea anymore and I will say that I miss the wives the most. Of course I have gone round and round in my feelings about him- BUT I want someone who wants me….bottom line. Anyway, I have found that I most pine over the wives’ groups, informal gatherings, coffees, weekend get togethers- and whatever else we decided we should do
I have made the greatest friends of my life through the military and civilian life just doesn’t bring people together like military life does. Enjoy and embrace it because you will miss it when the ride is over.
Looking at the picture above, all the women look nicely put together. Do you think that yourself & these women would welcome a fellow army wife wearing her husbands t-shirt and a pair of blue jeans? I had just given birth to my baby when we moved to a new army post, we did not have much money, none of my old clothes fit, so I was stuck wearing my husbands t-shirts and blue jeans my mom sent me for Christmas. I felt icky in those clothes, I tried to do my hair & makeup, but it really did not help the blob in boy clothes look I had going. I was invited to a army wife outing and thought it didnt matter what I was wearing, guess what, IT MATTERED. They all had nice clothes on, I stuck out like a sore thumb, and they ended up snubbing me and made snarky comments about how “casual” I was dressed, as if I CHOSE to look like I did. I now have nicer clothes, and feel much better about myself than I did, but I will never subject myself to another “army wife” outing again!
I think that, unfortuneately, there are people who judge you by Your appearance. But that is going to happen even outside the military.
Ive felt the same way you have. Those photos are actually from Easter, so some of us had tried to make it a point to dress a little nicer. Most often you find me in yoga style sweats.
I’m sorry you had a bad experience but don’t give up! Maybe you just haven’t found the right group of ladies yet!
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